What Planning Does For Your Mind

Are you struck by overwhelm and mental fog? Are you having lots of great ideas but don’t seem to get anything done? Are you having problems with clarity and what to do next?
Is indecision keeping you where you are?
Feel stressed because it takes a lot of time to get that one thing done, but you keep on being “busy”?

Looking for that sense of fulfillment at the end of the day, knowing that you made progress towards that desired goal of yours? Even if it’s just one little baby step?
I know everyone is busy and there are days that we can’t make the effort or find the time to make big progress.
However, planning ahead and knowing that you will accomplish what you have in mind, by a certain day gives you a lot of mental peace.
All you have to do is be open to put effort in making a planning and working towards it.  

Planning can really help you get focused and get you started on the things that MATTER!
Planning ahead will not only help you getting your st*ff done! It also has benefits for your mind!

Journaling

Before diving into the five benefits of planning, there is something you could do to start getting your mind ready for order and structure. You can do this by journaling.

Getting all your blockages out on paper can immensely help you get unstuck. Journaling it all out gives a lot of space in your head and gives you insight in your thoughts.
When you have a seat and jot down everything that you want to get done, without breaking your head on when it should be finished or the great big “HOW”, you actually declutter your brain.
Write out all your stress, frustrations and off course your desired outcome.
Writing is all out really clears the mind.
When you re-read your journaling, you can find what is bothering you, what’s keeping you stuck and what it is that you actually want.
Journaling is such a sanity saver when it comes to getting clarity and getting started with a good planning.

Want to know more about the benefits of journaling? Here’s an article where 8 benefits of journaling are given > Benefits of Keeping a Journal.

After pouring your heart and soul out on paper. Let’s start getting into the 5 benefits of planning.

Benefits of Planning

Five Benefits of Planning

Clarity

When it’s clear what you want and you melted your frustration and insecurities with a torch, you can start planning. Because you journaled out all that you want and more, you can clearly see where it is you want to go. You can see your end goal, what’s holding you back at the moment and what your action steps should be. Not only the action steps you could take to accomplish your goal, but also action steps disabling whatever is holding you back now, so that in the future this will not be a thing anymore.  Hooray for progress and personal development!

A ‘smart‘ way of setting goals is using the SMART method. There are many sources out there that describe the SMART method. However, I found the way that mindtools.com explains it is really easy to understand. Here is the link to read their article.

Read into the SMART method and let it help you get started. I wrote out the SMART method in my own words, hopefully, it resonates with you to make it actionable.   

Specific
Be as specific as can be. Don’t be vague. Let’s say you want to increase your income.
By only stating that you want to increase your income is just way too vague but very easy to accomplish. In this case, if you happen to find some money somewhere on the ground, you increased your income! But it’s not what you wanted, I assume!
Be very specific!
For example I want to increase my income by € 2.000,- by selling my old furniture and clothes.

Measurable
With the above standing example its already made measurable since I stated € 2.000,-

Acceptable/Attainable
In this example, looking at my furniture and my clothes and researching its market value, it should be attainable to make this of money.

Realistic/Relevant
This is realistic and relevant since I want to change the furniture in my house, (where selling gives me a budget) and since I lost a considerable amount of weight and my good clothes don’t fit any more. This is in line with my long-term goals keeping the weight off and redecorating my house.

Time
When do you want this to be done? What would be the most realistic timeframe and most importantly: what can you do now?
Is there something you can do today, what do you need to have accomplished within 2 months from now or 6 months from now.
Make really clear what you need to do and by when to have the most profitable outcome.

Example of a complete goal:

I want to increase my income with at least €2.000 by selling my clothes and furniture in order to help me realize my goals of redecorating my house and keeping a slim body. I want to have made this money by 30th November 2021.

These are actually 2 goals in 1 but you get the picture right?

SMART Planning

Roadmap

If you plan well, in a step-by-step manner, with your end goal in mind, you will have an amazing roadmap of what your next step will be. It’s truly amazing to see what good planning can do for your goals when you take the time to plan it out.  

Using ‘reversed engineering’ can also help you make your road map more clear. Simply said, reversed engineering means that your start with the end in mind, and from there you determine your ‘milestones’, the smaller goals in between to make sure you are making progress in the right manner and timely order. Then determine the steps you need to take to make your end goal reality and your milestones along the way.

The most important part is always the START. Making an amazing planning is of course very good but if you never ever start, all your work and good effort is for nothing.

I’m even inclined to say that having a ‘mediocre’ planning while starting is even better than having a good planning and not starting. You get the picture right? Mediocre planning can be improved along the way because of the mistakes and downfalls you make.

As we go along, we get better.

I know mediocre can sound so degrading. However, I truly believe that when you invest your best effort in something and you have an open and growth mindset, you will have the grit and flexibility to make your planning better as you go. You can not do more than you know, but sometimes that is exactly enough to get you started.

Here are the steps once again of reversed engineering:
1.      Set Your End Goal
2.      Determine Your Milestones
3.      Determine Your Steps
4.      Start Climbing

Peace of mind

When you see all the steps laid out and you know where you’re going, and to some level know how to do it and by when, you will feel so much more at ease. This is such a positive influence on your mind than an unstructured cloud of ideas and dreams with no end or beginning.

Having a plan reduces stress, anxiety, and overwhelm because you have everything under control and in good bite-size pieces to move forward.

Having peace of mind is a great benefit when pursuing your dreams because the chance of you quitting because of overwhelm, stress or exhaustion is smaller.

Peace of mind through planning

Confidence

Knowing that you have your plan figured out not only will give you peace of mind but also a lot of confidence. You can see your path before you and you know that it’s achievable, hence the SMART method. You know, even if some unfortunate events might happen for whatever reason, you do have a plan of action! This grows your self-confidence and belief in yourself. You know that you can achieve it, even if it takes longer than expected, and it makes you more resilient.

Life balance

Because your work or your passion project is not all we can focus on in life, and honestly you shouldn’t want to, we can create a better life balance. With life, balance is meant that ‘work’ and ‘life’ get their well-deserved cut of your time, energy, love, and effort.
When you plan out your week, month, quarter or your year, out well. Nobody or nothing has to be uncared for or not taken into consideration. Mostly it’s not having a planning or having bad planning that things get forgotten or neglected and that is a sad thing.  

This should be enough encouragement for you to consider and start planning your life out better.
Perhaps you did this in the past or maybe one or more aspects of life but not all of them.
Having a good planner that helps you take everything into consideration will help you a lot!
It will make the world of difference.
Below you can find planners that can help you out with this.

These planners take all the important aspects of life into consideration.
Not one aspect has to be forgotten unless you choose to.
Take a look at the planners and see what they can do for you. Click to go to the shop overview.

Future Me Planner

Benefits of Keeping a Journal

People have been keeping journals for as long as the human species were able to write. This goes back thousands of years ago.
We even have insight into personal lives during extremely hard times because of journals. For instance, Anne Frank enriched the world with her journaling during World War II, and there are many more journals out there.

People don’t journal as much as they used to and it seems like it’s a long-lost habit. However, a more digital version of journaling is on its rise.

Nevertheless, keeping a journal does have benefits.

Below you will find why keeping a journal would be a smart thing to do and might inspire you to start journaling as well.

Eight Benefits of Journaling

1. Organizes your thoughts

Journaling makes your thoughts more perceivable. When you journal you made your thoughts, which are no matter, into something more physical. It will structure what is within and can give you great clarity to what really going on inside.

 When you record daily thoughts, feelings or events you can surely see a pattern in your thought and behavior. This also gives you the option to do something about your circumstances.

2. Set & achieve your goals

Milestones can be achieved when you choose to monitor your goals and ambitions. You can see your progress and keep yourself motivated because of your growing results day by day, month after month.

You can keep growing your skill set and achievements. Journaling can make you very goal- and result-oriented.  

3. Memory boosting habit

Have you ever heard that writing things down actually helps you remember it better?

Just like organizing your thoughts, it also helps you to boost your memory. If not, you can also read it through once again to remember how you felt or what you did.

When you put pen to paper, a connection is made with your brain and because of the action of actually making sense of some letters and sentences in your head, you build a stronger memory around it. This can not only help you in  the topic or event that your journaling about but also in everyday life, because it strengthens the brain.

4. Cultivates creativity

Putting what’s in your head to paper can give you a great passage to your creativity. You might be amazed what ideas lie just beyond the surface of your conscious mind. Let your imagination run wild. You don’t have to share your journal with anyone, so why won’t you let you best side out and be creative. You will find you have a great lot to tell. Who knows, maybe you are the next J.K. Rowling.

5. Record ideas on-the-go

Since you are letting your creative side on the loose, you might want to take a journal with you. This can be on your phone or tablet but of course, paper will serve as well. Since, in these digital days,  your phone or tablet seems more ‘everyday’. Keeping a digital journal with all your ‘brain dumps’, dated journals and all other stuff you write about might be the best option. You can revisit your entries and make new links or just be inspired by something new.

Looking for a digital journal or planner? Go to the Push Your Potential Shop to see which digital product would fit you best.

6. Development of writing skills

Writing every single day will of course do something for your writing skills. You might want to write about a certain topic of your interest or just simply your thoughts.

Eventually, you will notice that writing something doesn’t take you any effort and you write easily which might also benefit your career chances.  

7. Reduces stress

Frustration and anxieties can build up during the day and can make your day less enjoyable.

Taking time to write it all out while journaling and using it as a “brain-jump” can relieve you from a lot of undesired thoughts and feelings.

Doing this in the morning can help you start your day stress-free. While doing this in the evening can give you a clean slate before going to bed. You can do both or just one, whatever you prefer.

8. Time to self-reflect

When journaling at night, you can look back on your day or even a complete week and see how you have done in comparison to what you think your week would look like.

It gives us time to reflect.

Really sit back and look at our lives from a bystander perspective. When we pause our hectic existence we can focus on gratitude and reflect on how we can improve ourselves for more progress.  

Time for self-reflection

7 Reasons Why Daily Goal Setting Is Important

How important is it to have good daily planning?

Making a plan might not be the most enjoyable activity you can set out to do but, it certainly is an effective way if you choose to live as productive and progressive as you can.

Carving out half an hour to an hour to ‘design’ your week ahead and investing time for a longer session to plan out your month ahead can be a life-changer in the ‘get sh*t done’ department.

To some degree, everybody has a plan. It would be very hard for anyone not to plan ahead, even if they hate the thought of it. Even thinking about what to have for dinner tonight is a form of planning.

You may have encountered people who seem to take and make life as it goes, and it all seems to be very liberating and independent. However, you really want to know what’s ahead to prepare the best way possible and know what you can accomplish by the time the month passes.

If you are a student, mother, employee, or business owner, planning is very powerful when it comes to getting your stuff together and getting ahead.

Here are some benefits of good planning:

• You have an end in mind

• It is stress-reducing and gives peace of mind

• It invites strategic thinking

• It aids skill development

• You get to evaluate your work/project

• It enhances your productivity

• It helps you pay attention to different roles in your life

To make a good plan, it is wise not to just make a day-by-day plan alone. It is much better to start with a complete overview of your month if you are new to planning. And when you are used to your new planning skills, you can of course expand to quarterly and/or yearly planning.

Having an overview of the month ahead gives you clarity on where you are going, and what you want to accomplish by when. From there you can easily break down your monthly overview into weekly planning, and then break it down to daily planning. By doing this, you clearly see what to do every single day of the week.

Don’t worry if things seem overwhelming at first. With time, you will be amazed by what you can accomplish if you simply write things down for yourself and plan. It takes some getting used to, but don’t give up or discard it. You will thank yourself when you reach all your goals and accomplish what you desire to do.

Have the end in mind     

Before you start filling up your plan, decide on what you want to achieve, accomplish or make some progress in the next coming month?

State clear goals and try to make them as SMART as possible. This will help make it easier to set more realistic goals. If you are new to SMART goals, here is an article that explains it well.

What are your objectives? Do you intend to complete a course before Christmas? Would you like to write a book?

Make these as clear as possible. And don’t be one-sided in this wither. Take all elements of life and state what your goal is with this. More on this later 😉

Stress-reducing and gives peace of mind

Ever felt overwhelmed by all the things you have to do?

Or are you scared to death that you will forget something important or have something pop up at the last moment, and have to settle or compromise because you didn’t see it coming. Ugh… who wants that?

Of course, not all things in life are predictable and things can still pop up, that is the beauty of life isn’t it? However, having space and mental clarity to actually handle these events effectively and accurately is something that you get to give yourself. Not everyone has the ‘luxury’ to keep everything going as it was planned ahead, simply because they didn’t have the complete picture in mind and on paper.

Knowing what’s coming gives you time and space to prepare, and progress the right way that it benefits you.

This equals not having to break your head about things and stress out. You knew it was coming and you are prepared! 

Practice strategic thinking

As I mentioned above, you can strategically plan ahead and make sure you tick all the boxes on time before finishing up your project, work, or whatever your goal is.

By planning, you are able to make good choices and plan for quality and success because you have the end in mind. You have a whole landscape of what you want before you, and you are able to plan it out ahead of time.

If it is a book you are writing and you want to write it within 1.5 years? Plan ahead!

Again, be very specific and precise in what you want.

- What is it about?

- What are the chapters about?

- How many pages are in the book etc.

Make sure you have a clear vision and make it easy to understand for yourself.

Then schedule a finish date into your calendar.

Work on your chapters consistently and be prepared for your big day.

Skills development

Being skilled in planning helps you, not only with planning itself but will also help you in other areas in life. Your ability to focus, plan ahead, and have a sense of time will also help you in several ways, as this is not a skill you will regret having learned.

You will probably be more organized and put together than your peers at work or school and this will be visible. It’s a very important personal development skill you really need to hone.  

At first, you might not always do what you want in the amount of time that you wished. However, the more you plan the more you grow competent with it and soon you will be able to make a sound plan that will help you progress in daily life, in a lot of ways.

Evaluate your work/project

This might be where the tish hits the fan. Did you do a good job following up your planning or did you stagnate and procrastinate? It’s important to be honest and objective here.

Don’t be too hard on yourself when you are behind and you did the best you could. You are learning and sometimes, we are not able to indicate correctly how fast things are going to progress. Sometimes unforeseen things are popping up that we can not always help or leave aside. These are all things you have to weigh in on evaluating.

On the other hand, did you do the things you planned? How thorough were you at this? Did you slack or were you procrastinating along the way?

This is not something to do at the end of your week or month. Rather, this is something you do daily and maybe even in the middle of your day.

Find the balance in giving yourself a kick in the butt or cutting yourself some slack. However, don’t just reduce your goals. You made that goal for a reason and you made it SMART, so it’s doable and realistic. Make sure you do everything you can to fulfill it.

Enhanced productivity

Think you might have guessed this one already, your productivity enhances!

Do you think your productivity would enhance when you follow the steps above? I THINK YOU DO!

Unless you are already a productive machine you will not see a lot of difference. If you are new to this, your productivity will skyrocket!

If you are looking for resources and books on productivity. Stephen R. Covey might help you out! He’s written a bestseller on productivity with his book - 7 habits of highly effective people.

Attention for different roles

I already promised you to get back to this.

What I mean by the roles we have in our lives:

When you are married and you have a job next to your family life, you already have 3 roles. If you also have some friends and other family members you already have 5 roles, and so on.

Determine what roles are important in your life and write them down. What is your goal with this? Do you want to spend at least one hour per day of quality time with your kids and husband? Do you want at least one social meeting a week with your friends? Do you want to work on your health and work out 3 times a week? 

Define what is important for you and write it out. Sometimes we can not do all the things we want but even if you do half of what we planned, at least it’s something. You will be amazed at all you’ve accomplished, even if you didn’t tick it all off.

Make use of planners

Planners are a great tool to set up structure and have your ‘planned life’ in one place. There are simple planners with just small areas to write down your to-do’s, and others that are detailed and motivating to help you along the way of getting your desired life together. This goes much further than just simple scheduling.

Push Your Potential has a complete planner where all aspects of life are put in to help you out with realizing your goals and putting your desired life together.

This covers:

• Yearly overview

• Monthly overview

• Weekly overview

• Daily overview

• Habits

• Health

• Money

• Goals

• Notes

• Lists

The planner gives you great and valuable insight into your goal setting as you go through your days.

Check out the shop for all the planners and printables of Push Your Potential.

3 Steps To Forget Fear And Become More Confident

Become more confident

Are you wondering why some people are so confident in almost every situation? Do they have absolutely no fear or anxiety towards anything?

I used to wonder and ask myself this as well. What makes them so different? What do they do what I’m not doing? 

If you want to find out what practical steps you can take to start working on your fears and get more confident, read on.  

You might find this hard to believe but, there is not one person in the world who is absolutely fearless.

There are, and there will always be, fears in our lives. Big and small. There is no way around or beyond it. Fear is part of our brain and is how we are wired.
When we still lived in caves (like somewhere in the ’70s 😉) and were a prey for many animals, this actually helped us out quite a bit when a tiger was chasing us and we had enough fear to actually get up 😑 and run for our lives.

Nowadays, it’s not that necessary anymore but that part of our brain still exists and still plays a part. This plays a part in good ways but also in negative ways that unnecessarily take away our chances and opportunities. That is what I would like to shine a light on in this article.

The difference between people who go past their fears and succeed is the actions they take towards it.
Fear comes in different forms. We don’t have to shiver and feel complete terror to be ‘in fear’.
When you are insecure, frustrated, angry, or nervous, this is all born out of fear.

What you will read about in this blog is what the three steps are that you can take to get yourself out of fear and into becoming more confident.

• Have self-discipline behind the scenes

• Speak out what your goal is

• Do more than the average person

Step 1: Have Self-discipline Behind the Scenes

Be true to yourself when nobody’s watching.
What am I trying to say with this? When you make promises to yourself, do keep them!
Take action on the goals you set out for yourself and be as self-disciplined with this as you can. Be the best version of yourself that you can be.
Most important about this is, that you know and see yourself that you are capable of sticking to something and performing your best.
When you, the most important person in your life, are keeping your promise this builds your confidence.

Just to name an example:
When you are trying to lose weight. The thing you need to do is eat healthy, exercise, and work on your mindset to know that you will accomplish your goals.

Of course, your friends might support you and comfort you but you would have to do the hard and ‘lonely’ work yourself.

Specifically, when people aren’t around, you have to stick to the plan and make yourself do the good stuff. This is where your build your ‘confidence character’.

YOU GOT THIS!!!

When you made a promise to yourself and you are keeping yourself to it, you don’t need any outside source or social confirmation to tell you how you did or how you are doing. You know for yourself that you have the discipline to do something and get somewhere.

So when people have rude comments or are not as supportive as you hoped they would be, you can dust off those shoulders and confidently know and say that you did all you could and you know you did. No harsh words will get to you.
This will create self-respect, self-worth, and more self-confidence.  

Step 2: Speak Out What Your Goal Is

It’s very easy to get lost in negative thoughts and tell yourself you suck or that you are not good at something you are aiming for.

Whenever you speak negatively about yourself, you actually make yourself less confident. And no, that is not what we want!

When you are scared to do something but you really want to do it. Speak positively about it.
Speak it as if it is a possibility and that it is very likely that you will succeed but you just need to dot the i’s.

For instance:
I really want to speak in front of hundreds of people to share my message about toxic relationships. I just have to get more experienced and self-confident with speaking in front of a group of people.

This is much better than:

I really want to speak in front of hundreds of people to share my message about toxic relationships, but this is never going to happen because I’m so bad at finding the right words and I will embarrass myself.  

The trick in doing this is to speak this out to people, the more people the better. The more you talk about it and convince other people you can, you will also get more confident that you are able to.

Step 3: Do More Than The Average Person

To gain more confidence in what you can become and achieve, you have to have some benchmarks.

When you really want to achieve something or become the best in your field, you are going to have to beat the average.

Doing more than the average person will give you that skill level and will give you the belief that you can and will achieve more than the average person. Just because you are doing more and putting in the effort.

By doing this you will also have the belief that you deserve more because you’ve become more than your peers (in some cases).

Going the extra mile will give you more benefits in several fields: skill, knowledge, experience, and ………. confidence.   

Your Action Plan To Become More Confident

The above-mentioned steps are in a nutshell what you can do to become more confident and say goodbye to good old fear.

Step 1: Have self-discipline behind the scenes

Make a plan that is doable but does stretch you.
You are the one who knows what you want to achieve, by when and how.
I’m not kidding you, MAKE A PLANNING!!!
I know this might seem obvious but so many people only plan in their heads and not on paper.
Why is it so important to actually have something written down (digital or physical)?
Because it is physical and visible. You now made it halfway into reality, you only have to make it real now. This is also found in research and literature. When you write down your goals, you are about 46% more likely to achieve them.

Looking at that percentage, I don’t mind taking some time, a piece of paper, a pen, and making a plan if this is so important to me.

Whether it’s waking up earlier, reading books, working out, studying a play, dancing, you name it.

When you want to build up a skill, you are going to have to build a high level of self-discipline to achieve it. The thing here is, if you are sensitive to other people’s opinions and are afraid people might discourage you. You can keep this all to yourself! Which is great! The only person who has to know that this is a thing is YOU!

When you keep your goals in front of your eyes, no one really has to know about it. As long as you are working on it.  

Step 2: Speak out what your goal is

Make affirmations that support you and your goal. You can tell your friends about your new adventure or you can again just keep this for yourself and speak some courage into your being to fire you up.

To really get this ingrained in your thinking, write down a few sentences, like above, concerning the goals you want to accomplish. Make a few variations of this.

Speak this out loud every morning, evening or whenever you have the time and look yourself in the eyes in the mirror while saying this.

You will not only hear yourself say this, but you will also see yourself say this.
When somebody is looking back at you while saying this, you believe this even more.
A little trick: try to look and speak as confident as you can to really convince yourself.

This might sound really lame. Nevertheless, just try it for a duration of at least 2 weeks every day. You will notice that you really start to feel different when you do this and you will start to believe that you can.

Of course, developing a skill and having experience needs time and effort and we are (unfortunately) not performing miracles like fairies. However, your state and your belief will change.
Knowing you can do something is already half the game.

Step 3: Do More Than The Average Person

Find out what you exactly need to do to achieve your goals. This is not just one sentence.
Go deep with this!

What do you have to THINK, FEEL, BELIEVE and DO in order to be up on the standard you want to be?
What will make the true difference here? What would make you leap forward tremendously when you would do that? Focus on that.

When you see your peers accomplishing something which you also want to accomplish, you do what they do AND a bit more of the good stuff that will make the difference.

Now hold on, let’s be very clear about this! I’m not trying to evoke any jealousy, b*!@#$ fights or other nasty behavior that you sometimes see in these situations. No, no, no. Please don’t be like that! You are better than this! You know the saying: “Only unhappy people put others down”.

We are trying to grow from this.

Focus on yourself and take people who are above you at the moment, as your example to learn from and do more of the stuff that will make you better.

This might feel like you are putting someone down or that you’re mean or surpassing someone on this, but you are doing yourself a favor in putting your growth first.
We can still have a good relationship with the people around us that are also working on themselves.
See it as a journey together rather than a race of fight. 

This will make the world of difference!
When you do this, you will be on top of your game!

Final Words of Encouragement

Depending on how deep your fear is, working on it might take some time and courage.

However, I do believe anyone can grow tremendously in confidence if you are really willing to go for it and step out of your comfort zone.

If you consider taking these actions I wish you the best of luck 🎯🏆🥇 and make sure to leave a comment when you have taken the steps.

I love hearing about your progress and results.

Fear Its True Face

Ever wonder how to get over your greatest fear?
Do you even know what your greatest fear is? What it’s costing you and how it’s limiting you?
Do you know you are keeping yourself small because you are led by fear towards the other direction?

I’ve been there……… until I learned to work WITH fear, instead of staying away from “it”.
What if I told you that there is a way to effectively take fear by the hand and YOU guiding it towards your goal? Are you ready to dig deeper into your fear and work with it?

I’ve constructed an 8 step guide on how to get a grip of your fears to get insight into how you are playing small. These go-to steps for looking fear straight in the eye, will give you a grip on your fears, help you accept them, and work WITH them to achieve your highest goals in life.

Get Acquainted With Fear

You might have read a lot of quotes about fear that convince you that it isn’t a good advisor if you want to accomplish new heights in life. I couldn’t agree more!

Here are some examples:

”Fear is the thief of dreams” - Brian Krans
”We have nothing to fear, but fear itself” - F.D. Roosevelt
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear” - Jack Canfield

etc., etc.
Every person in the world has to deal with fears, maybe it’s the same fear you have, maybe it’s a more personal kind of fear.
This has to do with your own perception of the world, what you’ve experienced so far, and perhaps most important, how you perceived it.   

There are a lot of fears that you can come across in your life.

Since you are reading this blog I assume you want to know how to get the best out of your life and get rid of fears that are holding you back at this stage in life.

Before you can EVER go past your fears, you have to acknowledge it, recognize it, and accept it as your fear before you can EVER do something about it.

This is not the most fun part of self-development, but it’s very essential.

I know, I know, nobody wants to take their finger and point it directly at themselves, but this is truly one of the most essential parts of getting ahead in life.

When you accept that you are the only person who is responsible to move forward in life and look fear in the eye when you have to, you are already one step ahead.  

I want you to read through this blog not only as a source of information but also as a source of taking  ACTION and taking the first step into looking your fears straight in the eye and say: BOOO! I got ya!

This is going to give you so much more grip on what it is your thinking, what you’re feeling and doing, that keep you from achieving your goals. You will have the handles to take amazing steps towards your goals while having a good time with your new best friend, your fear.

Once you have the awareness of what it is your fearing, you can get acquainted with it, accept it, and change your world with it.

“We see the world as we are, not what it is.” - Stephen R. Covey

Stop Running, Start Saying Hi!

As I said, there is not one person in the world that is without fear.

However, there are some people walking this earth who have mastered their thoughts, emotions, and feelings and just walk hand in hand with fear to their goal and destiny.

I want to be someone like that! Don’t you? 

I’ve been making some great steps over the last few years, but I am still on my way to getting fearless.
THIS TAKES PRACTICE AND IS NOT DONE IN ONE SITTING!
Just so you know! 😉
It’s a way of seeing the world and whatever comes your way.

Nevertheless, you will get better at it and it will come more naturally.

In this blog, I want to give you some handles on how to recognize your fears and acknowledge them.  

Recently I came across inspiring literature of Robin Sharma about fear.

Robin Sharma mentions that there are twelve core types of human fears. Every human has aspects of it in their lives, one more strongly than the other.

I went through this and thought it added value to the path I’ve been taking myself.

I have been going through the motion of taking action with my fears and I wanted to share with you the benefits it has brought me through this post. I want to share the actions you can take to become less of a puppet for your fears and actually get where you want to go.

Below I have listed the twelve fears by Robin Sharma and some examples to explain in what context it is meant.

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12 Core Human Fears:

1)      Fear of Failure

• Failure is just market research of what works and what doesn’t. There are always other chances.

2)      Fear of Success

• Don’t stand out, don’t be special, and for the love of Donald Duck, don’t be successful!

3)      Fear of Rejection

• What if they don’t love me, like me, or even want to look at me? What if they make me feel like I don’t belong?

4)      Fear of Not Being Good Enough

• There are always people who know more, do more, and are more. Does that make me inadequate?   

5)      Fear of Not Having Enough

• Fear of scarcity. I don’t know enough, I don’t have enough money, my house isn’t big enough and I’m not smart enough. When is what you have actually enough to be happy and fulfilled?

6)      Fear of Looking Different

• Fear of not living up to the expectations of others. I don’t want to look different in social presents. What if what I am doing is not normal or the social standard?

7)      Fear of Losing Control

• Fear of the unknown. Do I have influence over the result when I’m not in control?

8)      Fear of Being Alone

• When you are alone, you are alone with you. You and your thoughts and feelings and emotions. Do you like and appreciate your own company?

9)      Fear of Illness

• We are taught fear. Are you afraid of getting seriously ill? Which one of your family members was also afraid of getting ill?

10)   Fear of Being Exposed as a Fraud

• Imposter syndrome. Who are you to say or do this? You are completely wrong in whatever you are doing! You will get exposed no matter how good you think you are.

11)   Fear of Love

• You are not feeling worthy of love. I’m rejecting before I get rejected.

12)   Being Insignificant

• Not leaving my mark with the work I did and the difference I made. The work I did doesn’t matter. I’m leaving this earth in vain.

Shake Hands With Fear Action Plan

Now that you know the 12 fears, you want to dig deeper into how this plays up in your daily life.
Of course, not everything will play up in every situation, think about the things that are significant for you and how you go about it now that you would like to change.

Grab a piece of paper and pen and get insight into how your fears play a role in your life.

1) What is the fear you most relate to, make a top 3. (To help you with this, go over the 12 fears again and rank it from 1 to 10 on how this plays up for you in your life.)

2) What situations arise when you’re thinking about one particular fear at the time of your top 3? Be specific in the context.

3) Set your timer for 3 minutes and really think about this and feel what it does for you right now. What is it you want to say about it? Do this with every fear of your top 3 and write it all out. Be as short and long as you want to but do get it all out.

4) How does this fear reflect in your behavior, can you think of a situation where this fear was taking the biggest role and let your fill the backseat? What is it that you did exactly?

5) What is it you did and what is it you wanted to do? What was the ideal situation?

6) How is this fear helping you and/or protecting you?

7) How would working with this fear help you in life and this situation?

8) What could you do to take a step in the right direction, when this fear shows its face again?

Reflect

Reflect on what you have written down. Was it fun to do? I guess not!

I can imagine that you rather do something completely different, like eating ice cream or chocolate (maybe you can do this afterward 😊), but OMG how much did you get out on the table?

Did this resonate with you? I guess that some of them are quite familiar to you.
Did you feel anything? Did this make you sad, relieved, or maybe angry?
Whatever you felt, this is step one in facing your fears and loosening the grip.
I know, you are not there yet and you might feel like, okay, and now what?
Just let this sit with you for a while. This might feel uncomfortable, however, read your answers again in a day or 2 and reflect on it again. Are you ready to take more action on this? 

If you are, click the links below for more fear-oriented articles to give you actionable insights to let your fears go and achieve your highest goals in life, with or without fear!

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Fight Fear With A Plan

The million-dollar question here: Now that I know what my fears are, how do I overcome fear?

Very good question, with no one size, fits all answer. I’m sorry!

The answer to this is that it takes time, intention, and effort, and here’s the worst part; from YOU!

It takes courage to go 1000% for your goals and growing through your fears is one of those elements of accomplishing it. You have to look at what is holding you back and not moving you forward.

It’s all about creating the courage to be curious about your fears and creating awareness around it. With this awareness, you can specifically take steps to overcome and work through your fears.

Only then you can overcome it.  

“The fears we don’t climb, become our walls”
- Noah Benshea

You can better work on this sooner than later. Think about all the chances and opportunities you might miss just because you don’t address your fears.

In what areas are you holding back or consciously keeping away from because you know it’s one of your fears.

Take deliberate steps and work through them, take baby steps if you need to.

You don’t have to be scared of public speaking today and speak at a conference next week. Look at the steps you can take now and see what is related to your current fear and find steps to grow closer to your biggest goal.

Make a plan for this and grow every little step of the way. Make sure you are not making excuses and sabotaging yourself by procrastinating. Someday is mostly not anytime soon.

“Someday is not a day in the week”
- Janet Dailey

This article is actually the grand finale of 2 other “building blogs” I’ve written about fear (sorry couldn’t help myself). If you want to dive into them as well, here are the links to the blogs:

3 Steps To Forget Fear And Become More Confident

Fear Its True Face

In these blogs, you will find steps to make yourself more confident and bite fear in the butt. You can find an 8 step plan on how to get a grip on your fears.

So, what is there to find in this blog I hear you think. Well, here is where all the things come together.

Here I present the Fear Fight Plan.

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Fear Fighting Plan:

1)      Get to know your fears

The article ‘Fear Its True Face’ is basically about this. If you haven’t read it yet. This is the time to do it. What is it exactly that you are so afraid of and in what category would you place it.

2)      Validate your fears

Hardly anyone likes this, however, it will give you so much understanding. Feel your fears. What is meant with this, also depends on what your fear is. Is there any way you can make yourself feel the fear? Get into the uncomfortable zone with this and just stay there for a while.

“Become comfortable with being uncomfortable”
- someone smart.

No matter how scared you get, do it anyway. It will make you grow tremendously and will give you confidence.

3)      Putting a voice to your fear

Start talking about your fears. This doesn’t mean that you should blow your own horn and tell everybody how you are going to overcome your fears. This is about talking about what scares you with people you can trust. They might give you some good advice but what is most important here, is that you make your fear smaller. When you are always nervous or scared to talk about it. You make your fear bigger because it’s controlling you. When you’re talking about it you make it smaller and you will ventilate the pressure it is holding on you. This will help you make it more bite-size and workable.

4)      Correspondence to fear

What always helps with anything that’s bothering you is to write it down. Write in a journal or what is even better, write a letter. Write a letter to your fear and write like it is especially for them, as you would write a letter to a person. This will clean a lot of mental clutter for yourself and you will be able to make it more tangible and you can tell him or her whatever is on your mind. Be sure you end your letter in a positive way so that it isn’t an open-end or leaves you with a negative feeling.

5)      Execute intelligence around fear

I heard a story once that inspired me so much that I wanted to get it in here. The story is about a man that was always scared of dogs and did want to go near them if he didn’t have to. Once he was at a friend’s house. His friend had two big aggressive dogs that also didn’t seem to like him for some reason. The dogs remained outside on a chain so they couldn’t bother anyone.  After a while, the man stood up and wanted to leave. For some reason, the big aggressive dogs were loose and approach the man with great speed and aggression. What the man did next was quite astonishing. He didn’t back down, run away, or folded himself up to a small ball but he actually ran towards them with great speed as well. The dogs couldn’t believe what happened and they actually backed down from their attack and rage.

The man, even though he was really afraid, approached his fears and went for it. His result was that he didn’t have to leave with any scars and that his fear actually seems very small in hindsight. This might sound very silly to you but this gave me an insight. If we all went for what we really want and face our fear like a tiger, nothing that stands in our way will actually be too big.

6)      Fear Vision board

If you have something in your life that you really want to accomplish and it’s so compelling that you want to work on your fear for this. Make a vision board about it!

Make it as goal-oriented as possible. Your goal is what you want to accomplish, you only have to go past some hurdles. Which is ‘drumroll’…………. your fear. Make it as specific and as bite-size as possible. Preferably you can do something at least every week to become better at something or break a barrier towards your fear. Even if it’s just one little step. Be consistent with this and at the end of let’s say 6 months, you would believe what kind of progress you made.

7)      Tell yourself new stories

Affirmations are true game changers! What we tell ourselves is SO crucial in accomplishing our goals and dreams.

We have to learn to ‘flip the switch’ every time we think something negative about ourselves or our goal. It’s very hard to flip the switch when we know that we are not good at something. Of course, we have to be realistic and keep it real. Here is an example:

I’m so bad at writing. I’ll never write that book.

Your new thought and affirmation: I’m amazing at writing now that I figured out how to write properly.

Now I hear you think: Well, that’s easy!

Nooooooooooooooooo, now you actually have to do something, take a course on writing i.e. to make this affirmation true. You will be more motivated to start, pursue and finish the course because your brain is wired to make what you say to yourself come true. We as humans are wired like that.

8)      Love

Love is the antidote to fear. This has to do with step 7 as well. If you love something enough you are willing to go the extra mile and go past your fear.

When the tide is high and you really need to make an important step forward or approach a milestone, do what would be the biggest gesture of love in this case.

Choose love.

This is of course one of the ways to overcome your fears and I’m not saying this is the best or only way. I do truly believe that this will take you so much further than sitting around and just waiting for life to be over [let’s over dramatize]. I know from my own experience that this helped me a lot!

This Fear Fight Plan is inspired by the material of Robin Sharma, Terry Savele Foy, Les Brown, and other motivational speakers.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes here and there. We, humans, are just not flawless and this is a process of growing. So, don’t expect to do everything right the first time. You will get better at it over time.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one”
- Elbert Hubbard

 I wish you good luck and growth while going through the steps above. Leave a comment if you feel like it and let me know what it did for you if you took this Fight Fear Plan on.  I would love to hear from you.

5 Reasons Why Desire is All You Need

We all have goals we want to achieve. At least, I hope you do! On our way to success, we can encounter many roadblocks and obstacles along our way.

If it’s not outside circumstances that may get us off the path or influence our progress then it’s our internal state of being that’s getting us off track.

Do you ever wonder how the people you look up to are actually achieving their goals and dreams?

Are they just like you and me or do they come from another planet, where literally everybody can do anything?

Well, except for maybe a few, everybody is only human and mostly started just like anyone else, and that is at 0.

Some people even had worse circumstances than we have today and still, they managed to accomplish their dream.

So what is their breakfast like, or do they have some kind of Super Power that makes them unstoppable and unbreakable?

From as far as I can see, these people had one very very big and strong desire to achieve and accomplish. A strong will goes through barriers of self-doubt, ignorance, fear, limiting beliefs and perspectives, and low self-esteem.   

In this article, you will read why having a strong burning desire is all you need to get going and make the first steps towards your greatness.

When your desire is strong enough you will:

• Find a way to get past fears

• Learn new skills even though it’s not your strong suit

• Make the right choices towards your goals

• Open up to new perspectives

• Increase your self-worth

“When your desires are strong enough you will appear to possess superhuman powers to achieve”

- Napoleon Hill

Find a way to get past fears

When we are pursuing a goal that is beyond our comfort zone and beyond our experience so far, a lot of fears can come storming our way. Our brain is trying to protect us from harm and the unknown.

Brain farts you might be having are:

What if everything goes wrong? what if I suck? what is my family going to say or our neighbors?

Will people like me? Would they think I’m a fraud or a full-time loser?

These are just some fears that could come up for us.

Fear is a bad advisor in my eyes (there are exceptions 😉), but how do we actually get over our fears to pursue what we truly want in life?

Of course, it is very crucial for you to know what you want exactly. Otherwise, this is going to be a long road considering you don’t have a road to follow towards your goal.

Knowing your ‘why’ is just as important as knowing ‘what’ you want. This is the backbone of your goal. When you know ‘what’ and ‘why’, you have a package for a ‘strong desire’ and you could overcome any fear.

When you have such a desire that will reframe any fear you came up with and turn it into a curious question on how far you can go, you have good relentlessness skills.

When you weigh out the consequences of any fear and the outcome of it when and if it would happen, would you be able to overcome it? Even though you might have to bite some dust, take some critical remarks, or if it might take some time to get over?

Would it be worth it if you would reach your goal? I hope the answer is an outspoken YES!

“The only thing to fear, is fear itself”  

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Learn new skills even though it’s not your strong suit

Learning a new skill can be challenging, take a lot of time and effort, be boring at certain times, and might be completely out of your comfort zone. However, you will need it to reach your goal!

Sometimes we have to dig a bit deeper to find the willpower and willingness to figure out something that we are naturally not so good at.

Even if it takes the best of us, we have to be relentless and ruthless to work towards our true desire.

Again, when your desire is strong enough, you will find the way, time, effort, and resources you need to learn a new skill even when you don’t necessarily like it.  

Do you think any invention we use today was made just because people took the easy route and just left things the way they are and learn nothing new??? How about no!

Just imagine how the car was ever invented if mister Henry Ford just didn’t want to learn something new or be willing to try something new.

Would we be driving cars today? I think not!!!!

Just think about the person you will be when you master THAT skill that you need, to be successful. Would you be proud of yourself? How would that feel? Would you have grown?

There are so many benefits in learning something new, not only the skill but also as a person we’ve grown. When we have that burning desire, we truly can move any mountain.  

Make the right choices towards your goals

Do you ever have problems keeping yourself to your new discipline or restrictions to accomplish your goals?

I get you! Been there, done that! Changing behavior is hard on itself but when you have to stop or limit yourself in doing something that you enjoyed, you might be cutting yourself short if you keep yourself in the victim mindset.

When you have that burning desire, you need to find out what it is that you need to do, to get this desire into reality.

Do you need to leave cookies in one piece and in the grocery store?

Do you have to wake up earlier to create more time?

Do you have to learn a new skill or get back to school again?

Do you have to say no to your friends more often to prepare ourselves to be the best in what you desire?

Whatever it is, mostly we have to make some kind of effort or sacrifice to accomplish something new.

However, when you have that desire, you will be sure to make the right choices that will help you move the needle towards your desired goal.

Ask yourself good questions to decide what you are doing is actually helping you along the way:

• What does it look like when you reached or accomplished your goal?

• What does it feel like to have reached your highest desire?

• What does one need to do to get this done? Make specific steps.

• Will this what I am doing or planning to do help get me closer to my most desired goal?

• Will it slow me down or speed the process when I do this?

• What are the most tactical and strategical next steps if I want to accomplish this in x days, months, years?

Of course, we have to find a good balance between fun and chasing our dreams and desires.

When you want to write a book, writing every single free hour, every single day might move the needle a lot but will not improve your life’s happiness.

Open up to new perspectives

When you are chasing your desires, you might have to take on a different perspective than you have now, since you would go to another level and do and see things that you have never done before.

In order to do so, an open mind is required. If you stick to your own ways and your own perspective, nothing would really change.

This will not only change your point of view but might open up a whole new world for you which can be so interesting.

Of course, we have boundaries and don’t have to take everything in as our new truth.

However, having new perspectives gives us a broader view of the world and gives us more choice in choosing what is best for us.  

Increase your self-worth

After doing all the above, we have more confidence in our growth and our achievements.

We have invested time and effort to become a better version of ourselves and we grew.

Because of the experiences, we have higher self-worth than we had before the journey of chasing our true desire. We are worth it to chase our dreams and desires. While doing it, we discover and truly feel that we are. That is what will increase our self-worth.

Actions you could take

Finding your why

If you didn’t find your why yet and you really want to deep dive into this, Simon Sinek wrote a book about finding your why called ‘Start with Why’. Otherwise, you can also read through my article called ‘The Beginner’s Guide to Start Enjoying Early Mornings’ and also find out your why, if you don’t want to read a whole book about it.

Affirmations

One other way to imbed your desire into your mind is to make affirmations on your desire.

Repeat these out loud at least once a day, morning or evening, to hear yourself speak these words. The most powerful voice we could listen to is our own. Why would we not listen to the wisest person in our life, right? 😉

For instance:

I love my figure in this dress

I lost 15 pounds with ease

I watch what I eat because I am a healthy person

I am reading every day and get more knowledgeable in xxx

Knowledge of xxx is easy for me to understand and implement.

I am executing xxx with ease

Of course, just shouting these affirmations is not going to cut the cake. You actually have to do something. Take strategic steps towards your goals and make sure you make those affirmations come true. These serve as a guideline to what you want to achieve.

Therefore, think wisely about what your affirmation is going to be.

Conclusion

Do you have a subtle desire or a goal you want to achieve? Are you still doubting if this is something you really want to pursue?

Why do you think you have this dream or goal in your head. Is it really for you?

It’s really important to find out what makes our clock tick and what makes you really happy.

Find your reason ‘why’ this is, the way it is.

Once you have that why grounded in your heart and soul and it’s turned into one HOT BURNING DESIRE, you are ready to go and NOTHING in the world can stop you!

Give yourself the chance to have a heart full of desire and at least chase one dream in your lifetime and make sure you reach it! Even if it’s just half your dream……. You will be amazed at what you learned, who you became, and what it is to really live to the fullest!

Do you want to read other posts on living to your‘ Fullest Potential’? Click here.

Morning Mindset Ritual

I have written several articles on Morning Routines.
These articles contain content like:

• Why you should do it and when to start;

• How to start enjoying your mornings;

• How to build a habit with your mornings.

See the articles below if you haven’t read them yet.

Want some help to actually put it into practice?

Then I’ve got something for you that will give you THAT kick up the backside 😉

Now it’s time to really set yourself up for success!

Here’s a guide and template especially for you, to get started with your own Morning Mindset Ritual.

This ritual is built upon 3 key elements; thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
These are the elements that create our awareness and productivity. These elements can be used to maximize the impact on your desires and goals.
When you have more control of these three elements you can definitely influence your result of the day, week, month, and year.

Click the button below to get your download now!

How Perfectionism Influences our Lives….. Good and Bad

How Perfectionism Influences our Lives….. Good and Bad - Do you think your perfectionism is holding you back in Personal Development? This article can help you get insight in what it does and doesn't do for you. #Perfectionism #Personaldevelopment

Are you on the perfectionist side of the spectrum? Are you putting in your best effort, scoring, or getting good results but still feel unfulfilled, not proud of yourself, or inadequate?

Is your best still not ‘good enough’ and are the thoughts of ‘what if I was just a bit better’ haunting you with every important thing you do?

You know that you are a perfectionist and you are most of the time being too hard on yourself, but can’t seem to let this go?

You know very well that you would not have come this far without your perfectionism.

It is helping you put down some really good, if not excellent work on the table. Is perfectionism really that bad?

This blog might help you to get things sorted for yourself and give you insight, what it actually is and when you could adjust your behavior for the best possible outcome.

Perfectionism a Bad Trait?

The more I learn about self-development and high performance, the more I learn about the worlds view upon perfectionism. The way I bluntly summarize it:

“We should get rid of it as soon as we can and just start producing and putting something out there just to get started”.

I have to honestly tell you; I get this, but yet I don’t.

I get it that you shouldn’t produce and work endlessly on something that never really gets out there. That is a sure waste of time and good energy.

On the other hand, what if we thought that our smallest effort or the effort we make just before it actually gets uncomfortable was ‘good enough’. What would our world look like?

What if there were no people who really want to dig down and not accept anything else than perfect for that moment in time (of course things evolve and get better over time). What if we just accept ‘good enough’ with everything.

I can get goosebumps of the thought of that, and not because I like it. Somebody else’s good enough might not be mine!

I really wonder what we would miss on this planet just because ‘good enough’ was simply ‘good enough’. Would we have cars, electricity, laptops, or anything else you could think of, and would it be as good as it is now in this time and age?

Boundaries with Perfectionism

Of course, I am not sharing this with you because I want to encourage you to be the best perfectionist that you could be. We should really have clear boundaries with this before it takes the best of us. Why?

I was a person who let perfectionism lead a good part of her life, even to a point of developing some nasty, but in hindsight laughable, neurotic behaviors (not the point you want to get to by the way).

Personally, I am really on the bridge of ‘perfectionism’ and thinking something is ‘good enough’. Truthfully, if I didn’t think this blog or website was good enough, I would have never made it public. I know it is not the best website people have ever seen but it is good enough for me, for now.

I actually care about what I put out and I want to be next to excellent. As you notice perfectionism still has some hold on me but I don’t care that much for it.

I am a worker of excellence and if it takes longer or costs me more energy, that is just fine.

I want to put something out there that people can actually relate to and get value from. I don’t want to just post, because I need to post. This is different for me.

What Perfectionism Really Is

Perfectionism is a mix of different aspects. The combination of fear, knowledge, avoidance, imagination, and experience can cause us to be hypercritical, hypersensitive with an ‘all or nothing’ type of view on things we do.

A person who is a perfectionist wants to succeed in everything the first time and has high expectations of himself or herself. They also have a reason for their high expectations because due to their high effort, they accomplished good things to their own standard. When something doesn’t work out as imagined, the perfectionist thinks he or she is a failure.

Because of this negative belief, perfectionism can paralyze you from taking adequate action towards what you want.

When Perfectionism is Bad

Perfectionism is not a good trait when it paralyzes you to a point where you don’t take action.

When you get so caught up in thoughts of failure, not succeeding the way you want to, scared of other people’s judgment, and fear of burning out.

It is also bad to a point where you do try and not succeed as much as you wished you did and then don’t give yourself a chance to improve or succeed the next time. You think you are a failure because you didn’t do it well enough in one go. Who does that anyway, but hey, I get you! 😉

There is actually a name for this and it is: maladaptive perfectionism. It can be described as perfectionism that gets in the way of leading a happy life with success and fulfillment.

When Perfectionism is Good

Perfectionism is a good thing when you put your best effort into creating something great and putting it out there. Review your results and give yourself another chance (and another, and another) to improve it until you are completely satisfied.

Notice I actually say to put something out there? With good perfectionism, you have to actually put something out there and grow with trial and error. Perfectionism is good when you also feel the freedom and confidence to fail a bit and to learn from that. When you give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes, that is what makes your work great. Perfectionism is good when you can mix your fear of failure with enjoyment, interest, vision, and willingness to grow.

Some smart people will refer to this as adaptive perfectionism.

How Can You Control Perfectionism and Make Your Own Choices

It’s important to know when you are being reasonable with your perfectionism and when you are going over the top with this. Hopefully, you can now recognize when you are being to hypercritical or when you just want to put something good out there.

Awareness and healthy boundaries are key here, in putting your perfectionism to work in a good way.

When you feel like you are being too hard on yourself it could help to sit down, take a few deep breaths to calm the nerves, and think about what you are doing and what I actually so terrible about it.

I always like to remind myself that most perfectionists could actually never really fail because their effort is most of the time higher than the average (non-perfectionist) person. Mostly they only fail in their own head, according to their own standards. Failing is hardly possible for the perfectionist, except when they don’t try or give up after the first or second go.

To stop perfectionism from stealing your mood, energy, and day, it is good to look at the impact of the faults or delay and reflect if it really is that impactful as you think it is.

When you rise above your own view and emotion and ‘burst your bubble’ so to say you have a more clear perspective of what is going on.

This always helps me from perfectionism draining my energy.

Conclusion

To cut to the chase. Use perfectionism to your advantage!

Be aware of what perfectionism is, and set up some good boundaries for yourself when you can be allowing a bit less of your standard and when to go all out on excellence.

I truly think it is an advantage if you implement this correctly. Like I mentioned before, what would this world look like when there were no perfectionists. This world would look a whole lot less if you ask me (and yes I know we still have a lot to do).

Most important is that you manage your perfectionism and your perfectionism doesn’t manage you.

Now go ahead and create something perfect! 😊

5 Insider Secrets on How to Build a Habit with your Mornings

Building a habit can be hard and challenge you on different levels. Tell me about it!

This blog will give you insight into the secrets of securing your new habit and make it easier for you to persist in your new way of living.

These are 5 actionable steps you can take to implement your habit better and be indestructible in keeping yourself to it.

Building a habit is always hard at first since you have to break down your old habit and construct your new one.
Be aware that in the beginning, from my own experience especially the first 2 weeks, your mind is going to rebel against your new habit like a crazy person.
I bet you’ll come up with excuses that you never thought you could have about waking earlier. Know that this is your brain and actually fear that’s making up excuses for you, why you shouldn’t do it. Your brain is trying to protect you and wants to stay with the familiar because, who knows, maybe it will not work out, what are the consequences when waking up early or what if you might hurt yourself in some way.

Please don’t be alarmed and just examine the thoughts and feelings you get from this and be really rational about it. Is this thought actually relevant, true or is it benefiting me?

As long as you take good care of yourself and make sure you get enough sleep, you’ll be just fine.
You can kiss almost any excuse goodbye. If you really want to change your morning ritual, make sure you’re giving yourself at least 2 months to try it out.

There are 3 phases in these approximately 2 months;
destruction of old habit, installation of the new habit, and last but not least the implementation of the habit and making it your new standard.

So what are the “5 Insider Secrets” that helped me to secure my habit?

o   Five Second Rule

o   Set small goals that push you (out of your bed)

o   Build a Routine

o   Benefit of Intention

o   Affirmations

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1. Five Second Rule

This rule is different from the one you might know from dropping food on the floor and picking it up within 5 seconds. This 5-second rule was made popular by Mel Robins in her book “The 5 Second Rule”.
To give you a quick idea of what this is about, it’s actually very simple.

Whenever you try to rise early and some thought or excuse is coming up, to stop it from rattling on and getting you down the rabbit hole and letting you squeeze out from your commitment, you count down from 5 to 0 and just put your feet on the floor next to your bed.

When doing this you push yourself to do that one thing that actually takes you over the bridge and make it easy peasy to do everything else after that. Believe me, actually getting out of bed is the hardest part for me.

After doing this for a while you actually train yourself in doing this without there being a negative thought or excuse that might keep you from rising early.

2. Set Small Goals that Push You

When you wake up and you actually feel tired or you’re just overwhelmed by all the things you want to do in your morning routine, just break your responsibilities down into small or even really small goals. This will feed your motivation to just do it and rise earlier.

One of mine is to brush my teeth (the first thing I do in the morning) at a certain time each morning.
I made it my goal that I just can’t miss. When I’m brushing my teeth at exactly 5 AM in the morning, I tricked my mind a bit by focusing on my small accomplishment and not actually scaring myself with the list of things that I want to do in the Morning Routine. I can check off my first goal for today and most importantly I’m UP!

3. Build a Routine

Have a step-by-step routine and keep yourself to it as much as possible.

We are talking about routine in a morning routine. Could it get any more strict?

Wait ……..I’ll elaborate on this.
When you have an order in the things you want to do in your routine, eventually, you will just go through it like a breeze. It will be your new way of doing things. Do this instead of doing what feels good to do next because this will not stick with you and it will be harder to perform the routine because it’s focused on how you’re feeling or what is most convenient for you at that moment in time.

Here is an example of a routine:

• Brush teeth

• Exercise for 15 to 20 min.

• Journal for 15 min.

• Read or listen to helpful or educational material

• Shower

• Get ready for work

Let’s say this is what you came up with as your routine. If you keep yourself to it, you’ll have hardly any problems with it and just breeze through it with ease.

4. Benefit of Intention

Intentions are strong!!!
If your intention is to become one of those people who are high performers in life and need a morning routine to get a head start in their day, this can be a very strong motivation to keep going.

What is it that you actually want to achieve or accomplish with this new habit of yours?

Do you want to belong to a certain group of people? Do you want to be fit and healthy and invest in daily exercise? Do you want to give yourself a chance to learn, early in the morning and become better in your craft? Your intention has a great influence on what effort you are putting in, use this as an extra drive to push you.  

5. Affirmations

You might have heard that affirmations are powerful. They really are!

The most important voice you can listen to, to motivate and propel you, is your own voice.
You can speak your affirmations out loud or record them and listen to them just before you go to bed to implement what you are saying to yourself and you want yourself to hear:

o   Tell yourself you are an early bird

o   Waking up early is easy

o   List your benefits of waking up early

o   Promote how you would feel after doing your morning routine, etc.

In any way you can, speak some motivation and inspiration to yourself. Whatever it takes to make you feel pumped and excited to make the best of your morning.

Conclusion

These are the 5 things I did to implement my Morning Routine. Try it out and see what works for you.

You don’t have to do it all but I think it will have a significant difference in how you view your mornings when you implement these “secrets”. When you combine them all together one action will probably have it’s influence on another and will have a positive chain reaction.

To conclude this blog, like I said before, be aware that you will have some urge of drawback and your brain is going to tell you to quit and just don’t do it. I want to encourage you to follow through and get past the phase of destruction and get implementing.
However, do consider your own health, you are responsible for that! I can’t advise you anything since I’m not a doctor of any sort. Do what feels good and seems reasonable for you and your health (mentally and physically).

I wish you all the best and hopefully the tips are helpful for you to implement your new habit.

Good luck!  

Do you want to read other posts on Morning Routines? Click here.

The Beginner’s Guide to Start Enjoying Early Mornings

Want to start a morning routine and keep yourself to it but don’t actually enjoy it? Here’s an article that could help you get yourself on the right track and get the best out if your morning.

Do you have the desire to do more with your morning but you just don’t seem to be able to do it?
Is your motivation to wake up early only strong enough to last for a couple of days?
Here is a guide that can help you to wake up earlier and switch your resentment for mornings into enjoying the morning glory.

“The early morning has gold in its mouth”

-  Benjamin Franklin

In November 2018 I decided to switch my internal clock around and turn myself into an “early bird” instead of sticking with being an expert “night owl”.

I had enough!!!!

Enough of what you ask?

• of aimlessly waking up just a tad too late (read way too late)

• feeling rushed to do whatever I had to do

• not fulfilling my own needs to reflect on my thoughts, feelings, and actions

• pass on setting my intentions for the day

• dragging myself to do whatever other people or “work” wanted me to do

• not having clarity for myself

• not knowing what I really want of my days

I felt empty, not in control, and just not fulfilled with what I was doing with my life.

Why is this helpful for you?

I want to give you my personal experience of how I started to love early mornings and why I wake up significantly earlier than I did before.
For me, it was more of a mindset thing than anything else. I’d like to share with you what made the difference for me and how I learned to enjoy it.
Hopefully, it helps you to get focused and stick it out for the long run.

It’s hard to let go of habits and routines, especially when concerning sleep.
If you have a desire to wake up earlier to do a morning routine or to wake up earlier to do something you never seemed to have time for, it takes some effort.

When you are a typical “night owl” and have trouble getting to bed earlier, here are some tips and tricks to get you fired up to start your mornings early;

• What’s your why > what result would be worth it

• Start at your pace > make waking up early easy

• Snooze? You lose! > why would you do that?

• Body is Boss vs. Mind over Mattress > how to find balance in this

• What about the Weekend? > give yourself some space to enjoy life

• Reflection and Gratitude > How am I actually doing?

If you are on the verge of starting to wake up early but don’t think you have a solid foundation to actually sustain it and take full advantage of it. This is the guide to help you out.

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Don’t forget to get your own Morning Mindset Ritual as a FREE download.
You can use it as a guide to get you started in the right direction and build a mindset that will help you succeed in whatever you set your mind to.

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What’s your why

I could make this post really long but to save your time, here is a question for you:
What would be the #1 reason for you to even think about waking earlier?
If you have one reason, good! If you have several, great!
Start with a maximum of 3 not to overwhelm yourself at first.

“When your desires are strong enough you will appear to possess superhuman powers to achieve”

- Napoleon Hill

Explore your why
Take this reason or reasons and explore why this is so important to you.
Take a piece of paper or use your computer and take some time to really investigate why this reason(s) is so important to you. Just pour your heart, desires, and will out. Don’t be shy about this! This will determine the quality of your outcome.
Think of as many reasons as you want, but note at least 10. Think that it’s too much? Really use your brainpower and creativity here and just think of it. Even when it seems small, it does not come up for no reason, write it down.

Why this will benefit you
List the top 5 things how this will benefit your life. Do you think this is the same as the reason? It might be, but think again and a bit further. Will your reason to do this also affect other aspects of your life in a positive way?

Effect on your life
Of each of those 5 things note what effect this will have on your life. Is this going to be daily or are you working to complete or develop something for the future?

Example
This is of course a really personal aspect. To help you out, here is a short example;

#1 Reason: Finally have time to dig deeper into myself and find what makes my clock tick and follow this (new) passion.

Why this is important to me:
1. Sense of fulfillment
2. Sense of self
3. Peace of mind
4. Self-exploration
5. New hobbies/experiences
6. Better health
7. Growth mindset
8. Learning new things and insights
9. Self-development
10. Self-discipline

How will this benefit my life:

1. Enjoyment of life will increase
2. Create stronger self-discipline
3. Self-knowledge will increase
4. New ideas and fuel for life
5. My self-worth will go up

Effect of the benefits:

• Enjoyment of life will increase: when I am enjoying my days more and eventually my years, my life will be better.

• Create stronger discipline: when I wake up early every day I will create stronger self-discipline.  This will not only benefit me in this area but can also be beneficial in other areas of life.

• Self-knowledge will increase: when I am no stranger to myself, I will be able to get myself onto new heights and stretch myself in my capabilities.

• New ideas and fuel for life: when I am exploring new things I get motivated because of learning new insights and new perspectives on life.  

• My self-worth will go up: because of all the above-mentioned effects, my self-worth will go up since I am growing as a person.

I realize this is a concise example but it is just to give you an idea.

When your foundation is set, write down your benefits on a post-it and put them in a place where you can see them daily so you are reminded of why you are actually doing this.

Here’s a link to our other blog post about Morning Routines and finding your why.

‘5 Signs you are ready for a Morning Routine in your life’.

Start at your pace

Waking up 2 hours earlier can be hard at first. Therefore it is essential to give your body the space and time to adjust. Some people might not have problems with going Ninja on this but I think most of us will need some time to calibrate.

First, start with waking up 15 minutes earlier than what you usually do. When you are at the point that this is comfortable (maybe 1 or 2 weeks in). Add another 15 minutes and so on.

Don’t forget to go to bed earlier as well, you have to get your hours of sleep.

It’s important to make this feel as natural and as comfortable as possible so you will not feel any resistance in doing so.

Snooze? You Lose!

Snooze? You lose!

Personally, I would like to hit the snooze button every time it goes off for just those few more minutes of broken and shallow sleep. I know that those minutes of snoozing after you already woke up are just rubbish, but somehow it feels indulging.

After realizing what I was doing when I pressed that snooze button for those ‘amazing’ few more minutes (like it would actually do something for me) it literally “woke me up”. No joke……

Do you ever wonder what is it good for?

The sleep you get after snoozing is not beneficial for your body or whatsoever.

You actually have to wake up for a second time, a third time and so on. Why not be done with it the first time if you really dislike waking up?

When you set yourself a goal to get your feet next to your bed the first time that alarm goes off, and then make your way to the bathroom, you already accomplished your first goal!

There are many tricks to get you actually out of bed when your alarm goes off.
Put your alarm at the other end of the room or outside your room to turn it off. Make the noise so unbearably loud or annoying that you just have to turn it off. This worked for me 😉

Mind or Mattress

Body is Boss vs. Mind over Mattress

You might have heard before that the mind is our master and we can do everything that we set our minds to. Nevertheless, we also have to take our body into consideration.

‘We should listen to our body’ is what I also learned through Yoga and other practices. In the beginning, I found it hard to find my peace and balance with this.
Of course, we have to be the boss of our mood and not let that little (lazy) voice get between our goals and our results. On the other hand, our bodies might need something else at some point then our mind wants to. What is the right choice or decision here?
This all depends on how you feel, what makes the most sense and what’s acceptable for you. Use some logic in this case since we are not robots.

If you went to bed on time as planned, set your alarm at 4:30 AM like you always do, but you actually slept 3 hours in total because the dog kept waking you up every 30 minutes, it might be wise to give your body some rest here.
You might be able to get out of bed, be a true gladiator and do your thing, but the man with the hammer might (definitely) come later in the day, which may be even more inconvenient. (speaking out of experience here.)
When you know you had an okay-ish night but would like to sleep a bit more, because it would be nice. Here is where your commitment needs to step in.
Of course, we all want our perfect 7-8 hours of sleep and wake up refreshed and alert on any day of the week. Sometimes (more often than I wish) this is not the case.

We do have to stand guard at our commitments to ourselves and remember why we do this in the first place.

Again, the progress is in what you do within the hours that you’re up early, not the hours themselves. If you can find the time to do your routine later in the day, you can choose to do so and not be squint-eyed at the end of your workday because of exhaustion.

However, stick to your commitments as strictly as possible.

This is also a learning process. You have to be able to judge for yourself where your limits are. Everybody is different.  

What about the Weekend?

In the beginning, I was consistent with my weekly schedule and also inserted this into my weekend. However, I found out that since I had to go to bed quite early if I wanted to wake up at the same time, I would miss out on a lot of things: social gatherings, parties, movies, dinners etc.

Since not everybody in my environment is doing the same morning routine as I do, we could hardly meet up or have (enough) quality time to spend with each other. Of course, we have to make decisions, choices, and sacrifices but the price should be fair. Not being able to spend good time with family or friends is too steep for me.

That is why I have a different wake-up time during the weekend than I do during the week. I give myself roughly 2 hours of space here. Sometimes, when it is necessary, I give myself more space depending on the event.

What is most important is to stick to your routine and ‘just doing it’. The actual time isn’t what matters here. It’s the routine.

For example, if you wake up every day at 5 AM but decide to watch movies or play video games, you might miss the point here.  

Reflection and Gratitude

It is important to also reflect on your days and the progress you made so far.
Take 5 minutes each morning to think about the day before and what you did.

• What went well?

• Are there things that need improvement?

• What I am grateful for?

That last question is to be taken as brought as you want to. This could be your morning coffee, that good conversation with your friend, or your car for instance.

Gratitude for what you have right now

Conclusion

I hope this helps you on your own quest to wake up early.

What made the difference for me is the results that I get and the realization of what could be if I made the effort to take time for me. My ‘why foundation’ became so strong that I see it as an opportunity to wake up early and make the best of it. I hope your possible results will motivate you as well.

I have to say, the reason why I started to wake up earlier is because of how I felt and my drive to become a better version of myself. However, I did not wake up one day (late or not) and just started some routine. I deliberately sought sources where I could find inspiration and the ‘how’ in doing this.

The book that really inspired me to start this, is the book by Hal Elrod ‘The Miracle Morning’.

This was my kickstart to wake up early. I made my own version of my miracle morning, which the book also suggests, and I love what a morning routine brought me so far.

There is no going back for me now! The early bird is the best bird for me!

Do you want to read other posts on Morning Routines? Click here.

5 Signs You Are Ready for a Morning Routine in Your Life

You might have seen, heard, and read a lot of things about morning routines to elevate your life, propel you to success, and make your life more productive. It seems like it is becoming more and more of a thing to rise early and invest your first minutes (or even hours) of the day, to structure your day for ultimate fulfillment and happiness.

Because a lot of people (especially the night owls among us) don’t feel much for getting out of their bed’s earlier, it is a good question to ask yourself: “is it really worth your while to invest your time and energy to structure your day in the morning?”. Will it give you more than not doing it?

When implementing a morning routine into your life, this routine could contain many different things. This is, of course, to your own liking and areas where you think you feel comfortable or grow the most from.  

Journaling, meditation, exercise, listening to podcasts or books, reading, create or listen to music, speak out affirmations, prayer, you name it. This all could be part of your personal morning routine and you would have to do some honest searching to where you think you would benefit from them the most.

This post is not about what you should actually do in your morning routine but more as to why you should even consider doing it.

Since you are here reading this post, I reckon that you are wondering what the 5 signs are, that show you’re ready for a morning routine. Below the 5 signs are mentioned and explained:

1. You want more sense of direction for your day

2. You want to propel yourself forward in one or more areas

3. You desire a peaceful mind

4. You need a confidence and discipline builder

5. You want a sense of accomplishment

1. You want more sense of direction for your day

When you wake up early, when you are not in a hurry, have well enough time on your hands, and take the time to think out your day and plan how it is going, it gives you a lot of direction.

Instead of just rushing through your morning to be able to get to wherever you need to be on time, just take the time to plan your day and also think about what it is you want to accomplish next to your mandatory tasks and appointments.

This is the ultimate time to have control and be the architect of your day and life (since our days become our lives).

When you write it down (on paper or digitally) you actually have more chance of proceeding and succeeding in your goal. 

Even if you don’t want to accomplish anything extra, structuring your day ahead will help you a lot in not feeling overwhelmed and rushed.

By structuring I mean:

• What is it you want to do?

• By when?

• What does it entail and imply when you do this?

• Are there things to be taken into consideration?

You will have a clear goal and direction for your day, and you know exactly how to go about it.  

2. You want to propel yourself forward in one or more areas

Are you tired of being stuck in one or more areas in your life or you just want to get better at something? The morning is the time to do it! There are many ways to go about this.

You can just focus on one thing and dedicate at least 20 minutes to your subject of improvement or when you have more time you can take on more areas.

For example:

You can take on several areas to improve: spiritually, physically, and mentally.

Schedule time that you want to spend on the areas of improvement.

Do you want to meditate for 10 minutes to fulfill your spiritual need?

Are you willing to start working out 15 minutes every morning to get in better shape?

What affirmations could you create to get more resilient mentally?  

To fulfill your need for improvement, dig in deep and ask yourself when you are happy with the result you got. Where are you going for?

Don’t just say that you want to work out every single day for 15 minutes What is your actual goal? Do you want to weigh a certain amount, do you want a six-pack or a rock-hard booty? Make it crystal clear where you want to be, to be more focused on accomplishing your goal.

3. You desire a peaceful mind

Intentionally putting things on paper and taking time to work on the things you want gives you tremendous peace of mind. If you decide to meditate and let flow and peace come to you, this might even give you more peace of mind since you are allowing to intentionally invite calmness into your mind.

4. You need a confidence and discipline builder

Waking up earlier takes discipline and can give you a good boost of confidence.

If you are able to wake up at for example 5:30 am to get the best out of your day, what in the world is there that might come at you to ruin your day? Of course, we might have our bad breaks and we never know what comes at us during the day. Hopefully, most of the days you can conquer whatever the wind blows at you.

When you continuously implement your morning routine in your life, you will see your improvements and you will be well and able to grow as a person. You can be confident with who you are, even though you might have more on your list to improve. The fact that you are taking action, already makes you a successful person opposite to the people who don’t take action.  

5. You want a sense of accomplishment

Let me ask you; What gives you more sense of accomplishment than already finishing or getting a head start on your personal goals before you start working or doing whatever you have to do that day?

Already doing what is important for you before the ‘rest’ of your day starts gives you a tremendous sense of accomplishment. It will keep you motivated to keep you going and get more and more advanced in the things you want to grow in as a person.

Actions you could take

Read to get more insight

If you are wondering if this is really something for you or if you just want a roadmap on where to actually start. There are some good books that might give you the right tools to give you a head start.

Books like “Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod or “The 5 AM Club” by  Robin Sharma are books I personally read to inspire me to turn my night owl life around and be an early bird.

Soul searching for progress

What is it that you want to do with your morning? Are there things you always wanted to do? Do you have areas you want to improve in, is there anything else you want to address in your life from now on? Finding your why is important since it will help you keep yourself on track when implementation or keeping yourself at it is challenging.

Ready to sacrifice?

Ask yourself if this is really something you want to do. Are you willing to sacrifice the later hours of your day for early mornings? Yes, you would have to be willing to sacrifice some time to implement this into your life, since just robbing yourself of sleep will not be good for you. This might even have an effect on your health in the long run if you don’t adjust your schedule.

It is good to reflect on this and be honest with yourself. On the other hand, if you really want to improve your life in one or more areas and you are not making the effort now or you just can’t find the time to really go for it (or you made yourself believe this 😉), this should not be such a hard decision.

Start small and give yourself some time

If you want to prepare yourself for the implementation of this routine, you might want to also prepare your body for this adjustment in your life.

Start out small and just check how rising 15 minutes earlier than you normally would, actually makes you feel. Do you really feel exhausted or do you feel no difference?

You can build from there and expand your minutes to, for example, an hour.  

Conclusion

Having structure in your day has proven to be very effective if you want to work towards a goal or you just want to be a more productive person.

From my own experience, I can definitely tell you that is has given me so much more than I ever thought to acquire and is well worth the sacrifice. Sacrifice? Yes, I used to be the best night owl in town. This has seriously changed and I don’t regret it for one second (or morning you might say).

Give yourself the chance to explore if this works for you and try it. You will be astounded by what is does for you.

Do you want to read other posts on Morning Routines? Click here.