How Perfectionism Influences our Lives….. Good and Bad

How Perfectionism Influences our Lives….. Good and Bad - Do you think your perfectionism is holding you back in Personal Development? This article can help you get insight in what it does and doesn't do for you. #Perfectionism #Personaldevelopment

Are you on the perfectionist side of the spectrum? Are you putting in your best effort, scoring, or getting good results but still feel unfulfilled, not proud of yourself, or inadequate?

Is your best still not ‘good enough’ and are the thoughts of ‘what if I was just a bit better’ haunting you with every important thing you do?

You know that you are a perfectionist and you are most of the time being too hard on yourself, but can’t seem to let this go?

You know very well that you would not have come this far without your perfectionism.

It is helping you put down some really good, if not excellent work on the table. Is perfectionism really that bad?

This blog might help you to get things sorted for yourself and give you insight, what it actually is and when you could adjust your behavior for the best possible outcome.

Perfectionism a Bad Trait?

The more I learn about self-development and high performance, the more I learn about the worlds view upon perfectionism. The way I bluntly summarize it:

“We should get rid of it as soon as we can and just start producing and putting something out there just to get started”.

I have to honestly tell you; I get this, but yet I don’t.

I get it that you shouldn’t produce and work endlessly on something that never really gets out there. That is a sure waste of time and good energy.

On the other hand, what if we thought that our smallest effort or the effort we make just before it actually gets uncomfortable was ‘good enough’. What would our world look like?

What if there were no people who really want to dig down and not accept anything else than perfect for that moment in time (of course things evolve and get better over time). What if we just accept ‘good enough’ with everything.

I can get goosebumps of the thought of that, and not because I like it. Somebody else’s good enough might not be mine!

I really wonder what we would miss on this planet just because ‘good enough’ was simply ‘good enough’. Would we have cars, electricity, laptops, or anything else you could think of, and would it be as good as it is now in this time and age?

Boundaries with Perfectionism

Of course, I am not sharing this with you because I want to encourage you to be the best perfectionist that you could be. We should really have clear boundaries with this before it takes the best of us. Why?

I was a person who let perfectionism lead a good part of her life, even to a point of developing some nasty, but in hindsight laughable, neurotic behaviors (not the point you want to get to by the way).

Personally, I am really on the bridge of ‘perfectionism’ and thinking something is ‘good enough’. Truthfully, if I didn’t think this blog or website was good enough, I would have never made it public. I know it is not the best website people have ever seen but it is good enough for me, for now.

I actually care about what I put out and I want to be next to excellent. As you notice perfectionism still has some hold on me but I don’t care that much for it.

I am a worker of excellence and if it takes longer or costs me more energy, that is just fine.

I want to put something out there that people can actually relate to and get value from. I don’t want to just post, because I need to post. This is different for me.

What Perfectionism Really Is

Perfectionism is a mix of different aspects. The combination of fear, knowledge, avoidance, imagination, and experience can cause us to be hypercritical, hypersensitive with an ‘all or nothing’ type of view on things we do.

A person who is a perfectionist wants to succeed in everything the first time and has high expectations of himself or herself. They also have a reason for their high expectations because due to their high effort, they accomplished good things to their own standard. When something doesn’t work out as imagined, the perfectionist thinks he or she is a failure.

Because of this negative belief, perfectionism can paralyze you from taking adequate action towards what you want.

When Perfectionism is Bad

Perfectionism is not a good trait when it paralyzes you to a point where you don’t take action.

When you get so caught up in thoughts of failure, not succeeding the way you want to, scared of other people’s judgment, and fear of burning out.

It is also bad to a point where you do try and not succeed as much as you wished you did and then don’t give yourself a chance to improve or succeed the next time. You think you are a failure because you didn’t do it well enough in one go. Who does that anyway, but hey, I get you! 😉

There is actually a name for this and it is: maladaptive perfectionism. It can be described as perfectionism that gets in the way of leading a happy life with success and fulfillment.

When Perfectionism is Good

Perfectionism is a good thing when you put your best effort into creating something great and putting it out there. Review your results and give yourself another chance (and another, and another) to improve it until you are completely satisfied.

Notice I actually say to put something out there? With good perfectionism, you have to actually put something out there and grow with trial and error. Perfectionism is good when you also feel the freedom and confidence to fail a bit and to learn from that. When you give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes, that is what makes your work great. Perfectionism is good when you can mix your fear of failure with enjoyment, interest, vision, and willingness to grow.

Some smart people will refer to this as adaptive perfectionism.

How Can You Control Perfectionism and Make Your Own Choices

It’s important to know when you are being reasonable with your perfectionism and when you are going over the top with this. Hopefully, you can now recognize when you are being to hypercritical or when you just want to put something good out there.

Awareness and healthy boundaries are key here, in putting your perfectionism to work in a good way.

When you feel like you are being too hard on yourself it could help to sit down, take a few deep breaths to calm the nerves, and think about what you are doing and what I actually so terrible about it.

I always like to remind myself that most perfectionists could actually never really fail because their effort is most of the time higher than the average (non-perfectionist) person. Mostly they only fail in their own head, according to their own standards. Failing is hardly possible for the perfectionist, except when they don’t try or give up after the first or second go.

To stop perfectionism from stealing your mood, energy, and day, it is good to look at the impact of the faults or delay and reflect if it really is that impactful as you think it is.

When you rise above your own view and emotion and ‘burst your bubble’ so to say you have a more clear perspective of what is going on.

This always helps me from perfectionism draining my energy.

Conclusion

To cut to the chase. Use perfectionism to your advantage!

Be aware of what perfectionism is, and set up some good boundaries for yourself when you can be allowing a bit less of your standard and when to go all out on excellence.

I truly think it is an advantage if you implement this correctly. Like I mentioned before, what would this world look like when there were no perfectionists. This world would look a whole lot less if you ask me (and yes I know we still have a lot to do).

Most important is that you manage your perfectionism and your perfectionism doesn’t manage you.

Now go ahead and create something perfect! 😊